Spontaneous Inspiration… Love it!

10 Jan

After posting the poem yesterday, I received an inbox from a friend on facebook. We don’t know each other well, but met last summer when our daughters played on the same basketball team.

I wasn’t happy with my poem, to the point that I almost didn’t post it to my blog. But, I like to put my writing out there in draft, to see if I can get a reaction. Plus I think it is good to allow others to see my flaws. When I ask for criticism, I’m ready to accept it. I’m glad I posted it. I don’t think I like my poem perhaps because it isn’t my experience. I took a published author’s poem, deleted half the lines and wrote in my own words, then deleted the other half of the words and that’s how I ended up with that poem.

The English teacher in my loves that my writing inspired an even better poem! Well, at least I think it is better. This is a poem written by Kim Allen-Edmondson. I asked for her permission to share her message:

I didn’t want to post any changes at all to your poem. It’s beautiful and I love it. In fact, it moved me deeply.

Your words reminded me of my own experience….prompted me to write too. I’ve based this on your words, but from a different perspective. I wanted to share it with you so you could see what you have inspired 🙂

I read your blog regularly and I love it. Thanks for sharing.

Kim

I didn’t plan this at all, but
My true love has slipped away.
I could not even attempt to hold on
And the morning…the days disappeared.
I thought we had a comfortable silence,
But it was a malevolent quiet.
The kind that sucks the life out of
Beautiful things.
Those memories, they are quiet reminders of
Painful moments.
The pleasure, the pain, the living in a dream.
But as morning dawned
The sunrise caught me by surprise
There were no words left to speak;
How could it be ending this way?
Without embrace, without a kiss
Without a sound, save for screaming souls.
We are done now.
Dreams….and hearts….broken.
Dismay is my companion.

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