Day 35 – DKHtR Syndrome

29 Jul

The opposite sexes have longed to figure each other out for years. I’m no expert, but I do have twenty years of married experience… 2 x 10 = 20. Having been married twice allows me to understand that most characteristics are individual and likely have very little to do with gender. However, the things that are similar make me wonder: are most men like this?

Both men that I’ve been married to have this thing I call DKHtR Syndrome (Don’t Know How to Rest Syndrome). My first husband only really rested when he was sick or sleeping, and like many men he didn’t do sick well. He was so stereotypical with his man colds. Glenn rests slightly more often, but this may just be the age difference. He rests when he’s sick, sleeping, on vacation and most evenings between 9:00 and 11:00 PM. Occasionally, in the winter, Glenn will sit in the recliner on Sunday afternoons and watch football.

Neither of the men I married is very good at resting at home during the day. With Glenn, there’s always a fix-it project. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful that I never have to nag, NEVER. He’s on vacation this week and yesterday he cleaned and detailedwpid-20140729_123402.jpg his car. It looks great. Today he had appointments in the morning and so did I. When I got home he was cleaning the kitchen. I retreated to the front porch with my book. After about 45 minutes I got curious, so I came in to see what he was doing. I found him sleeping on the couch with his best friend. I tip-toed around, not wanting to disrupt him on this rare occasion.

After he woke up we sat on the back deck together for a while and I told him how proud I was of him for actually resting. His response? “I should be waxing my car.” What is it? I don’t get it? I have more productive things I could be doing with my time, but none of them, even once they’re completed, are nearly as satisfying as sitting with a good book. Do most other men have this strange disorder, or did I just happen to marry two of the rare few?

I’m so glad that I don’t have to convince Glenn to rest when we go away for vacation. If I walk the beach with him, and we go for a swim together, he’s happy to sit on the beach and read together in companionable silence, my favourite thing in the whole wide world.

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